✏️ Deschooling 101: The Key Step Most New Homeschoolers Skip

Hey friend — Deschooling.

It sounds like some weird detox plan or something crunchy you'd see on Pinterest next to a sourdough starter... but no. It's real. And it’s kinda important. And this is one of those topics that you don't realize you have to talk about until things are happening and then you're left wishing you had talked about it with someone. So here we are... talking.

So I'm going to take you on a thought experiment. Imagine this:

You have finally decided to pull your children out of public school, and are PUMPED to just hop right into homeschooling. And you do it. Like... okay, you're grabbing curriculum, buying ALL the pretty notebooks, and doing the thing. Except — It's. A. Mess.

You're stressed. Your kids are confused. Nobody is learning anything except how fast you can both cry before 9am. Like what is happening?? 

​What's happening is you are still trying to do school like school. 

So what is deschooling?

Okay, short version? Deschooling is the time you and your kid take to unlearn the “rules” of traditional school — before you dive into homeschooling. It’s a reset. A deep breath. A whole mindset shift. Instead of schedules and checklists and assignments and bells, you just… live life together. Read books. Play outside. Have conversations. Get bored. Be together. 

And I know. It feels weird. Like, "Shouldn’t we be DOING something?? Like actual school stuff??"

Nope. You’re doing it. This part IS the work.

Why most of us skip it (and why we shouldn’t)

Honestly? We skip it because it feels lazy. Or wrong. Or like we’re falling behind. But deschooling isn’t about doing nothing — it’s about re-orienting everything.

You're building trust. You're re-connecting. You're reminding your kid (and yourself) that learning doesn’t only happen at a desk with a worksheet. You're showing them that home is safe and that learning can be joyful. That you’re not trying to be the school they left — you’re building something better, together.

So how do you actually do it?

Well there’s no magic formula. (Sorry. I wish there was.) But here's some super helpful tips:

• Don’t start formal curriculum right away. Give it 1–3 months if you can. (Yep. Really.)
• Watch your kid. What lights them up? What shuts them down? That’s your clue for later.
• Read aloud a lot. From the couch. From the car. In the middle of lunch. Doesn’t have to be fancy.
• Be honest. It’s okay to say “Hey, I’m figuring this out too.”
• Go outside. Nature heals. I don’t know how, but it does.
• Let go of “shoulds.” You’re not behind. You’re building something new.

So back to that thought experiment. I bet it's a little more real than you care to admit. Take a breath. You don’t have to replicate what didn’t work. This is your time to rest, reconnect, and remember why you chose this path in the first place.

Also remember your kid isn’t broken. You’re not failing. You’re both just healing. Because that’s really what deschooling is — a season of healing.

One last thing... If you’re just getting started and your days feel weird and hard and a little too quiet or a little too chaotic — that’s okay. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just deschooling. And that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be. We’re in this together.

-💛 Lori

To Know God and to Make Him Known